Six and a Half Months Later

It's been six and half months since my last post titled "Transition in Life: Moving, Jobs, Cars, Relationships..." and that feels like forever. When I wrote that I was a few days into a transition that I am still in. Learning a new town and a new community of people. Learning a new job and things about the military that most of the general public have no clue about. I also moved away from a group of friends in Austin who know me so well and understand me. Then there is this new roommate I have. It's weird because apparently we are forever roommates, but his habits are foreign to me in so many ways. So I guess it's a lifetime of learning for me and revisiting the amounts of food I cook for dinner and how many loads of laundry it takes to keep up with the weekly (or daily) piles.

Another transition that has occurred in my life over these few months has been the loss of my grandfather. Losing Papaw is something altogether different from everything else that's happened in my life. It is a hopeful yet deeply saddening reality. I don't know if anyone is necessarily gifted at "loss". I know for a fact that I am not good at losing people. From my writing you may have picked up on the fact that I love people. I desire deep friendships and to walk side-by-side for years with those that I let into my life. The thought of losing friendships or the end of a relationship is one of the worst imaginable thoughts. It will literally put me into tear-filled, heaving convulsions. 

Papaw was one of the most joyful, pleasant people I've ever met. He rarely had a negative thing to say. He was supportive, funny, and a great friend to so many people. He was a leader and an innovator. He didn't accept things as they were and allow them to remain, he always sought for greater. He was a man of habit and those habits were worth emulating: giving of his resources, 100% loving to his family, dependable in his commitments, encouraging to his friends, friendly to all he met, and he was faithful to God. He was a man worth striving to be like. What a legacy. 

Losing someone at the same time you commit your life to someone is sobering. You commit your life in marriage for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, til death do you part. My grandparents did just that. My grandmother, Vicki (the one who has made my sharpie collection possible) is amazing. One of the things both Papaw and Vicki modeled for me was how to care for other people and how to have long-lasting friendships.
Papaw and his close buddies ate breakfast together (and used to play golf) every week for decades upon decades. These were most of the same men who were his pallbearers at his funeral. These men worked together, retired together, served their community together, saw each other through losing friends and family members. It amazes and astounds me that they had those types of relationships for decades upon decades.

My grandmother Vicki was chosen by her dear friend in our hometown recently for having that same ability to care for others. You can hear that story here. 

So many people don't have those types of friendships. And honestly there are lots of reasons that is the case. But regardless of the thousands of excuses that are out there, I want to have those. I will move every few years probably for the next 20+ years, but I want to be a faithful friend. G and I will have kids, Lord-willing, and become busier than we could ever imagine, but I want to be that consistent of a friend. I will have a career and have a thousand things vying for my attention, but I want to be a loyal friend.

The transition over the last six and a half months has not been easy. All of the things above have happened, as well as numerous other things both exciting and hard. As life moves forward, it's with deep gratitude that I get to live with the memories of my grandfather. My hope is the lessons I learned from Papaw will be visible in my life and encourage others to love people well.