Womanhood: Defining "Godly Woman" Part 2

What does it mean to be a "woman" and how do you begin to identify with what a "woman" is? These are the questions I am beginning this post with, and the questions that I began asking years ago with little to no answer. 

Wherever you are in this journey, realize that we all come from different places. Every female in this world has had significant influencers on how she defines womanhood, whether these are conscious or not. For me, a huge part of this journey has been identifying those and making a choice to allow those definitions to remain or be refined. 

I am merely telling my story, and I don't expect your's to be the same. Nor do I expect you to have the same conclusions as me. 

First of all, can I just state for the record that calling myself a "woman" still has this weird connotation to it? There is something simple and easy about being a "girl" whereas calling myself a "woman" makes me think I should be wearing shoulder pads and driving an SUV with children's things all over the place. 

So what did I believe about being a woman besides wearing shoulder pads? 

Lies I believed: 

• to be a woman, I have to be married (but I'm single)
• to be a woman, I have to be literally quiet and not opinionated
• to be a woman, I need to bear children (but I'm single)
• to be a woman, I have to lay all my desires down for my husband, aka lose all sense of freedom and self (but I'm single)
• to be a woman, I need to be pursued by men
• to be a woman, I have to go to women's conferences with bad jokes and matching tshirts
• to be a woman, I have to scrapbook and bake and disciple my chidren, be fit and do it all at once
• to be a woman, I have to lay aside outdoor activities and athletics for indoor activities like bridge or bunko
• to be a woman, I must enjoy shopping. period. 
• and who wants to be a woman? Some old, weird, quiet, cat woman? (well actually Cat Woman would be cool, but a cat lady/woman with too many felines is not ideal)

So besides the obvious reason that I am single, I didn't fit the definition of woman, because I was/am:

• Single. 
• Not quiet and most definitely opinionated. 
• Single. 
• Single. and I really like my freedom. 
• Not really pursued by men. See point number two. 
• I really don't like women's conferences and don't do matching tshirts, especially purple ones with white butterflies (literally saw 20 women wearing these yesterday)
• I can scrapbook. Bake decently. I'm passionate about discipleship. I like to work out. Not much of a multi-tasker. 
• I love the outdoors. I won't ever give that up. 
• Not much of a shopper. 
• I'd be Cat Woman, but that's just because Batman is the bomb. 

Why did I have such a hard time identifying with being a woman? Because my definition was completely wrong. As I've begun to work through many of these lies I've realized something else, that it seems most of the women influencing our generation's definition of a "Godly woman" fit the aforementioned stereotype. I've asked lots of questions to women I trust literally since probably 2002 (opinionated, Godly women). I've read and reread books and passages of Scripture, and still have questions. I've been in Bible studies and pushed people to not give me the "easy outs" of "it's just about being submissive and having a gentle and quiet spirit." I've been to counseling and worked through the depths of many of the lies I believe. And I'm still in the process... 

But now, I feel like I'm in a place of understanding who I am before God as a woman. My definition has completely changed.

My challenge for anyone who reads this, male or female, would be to ask youself how do you define or think of womanhood (or manhood)? God clearly made man and He made woman, with specific distinctions for a reason. Choosing to understand and live these out in our culture, is honestly one of the greatest choices of being Light in a dark place that we can and will be for the Kingdom's sake.  

Womanhood: Defining "Godly Woman"

Defining "Godly woman" is daunting to write about, to say the least. So let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start... 

"Are you a Godly woman?", my future boss asked me in an interview. I swallowed and coached myself into answering what I knew to be true, "yes I am a Godly woman." 

That is not the question you expect to be asked in most interview type situations. But in this one, it was honestly the only question applicable. I was about to be asked to disciple 12 women with the sole purpose being, that they would learn to live and believe that they are Godly women. In light of these posts, this almost seems crazy that I was asked to do such a thing. And maybe they were crazy to ask me to serve in such a capacity, but they asked me and I did it. And Fraulein Maria didn't believe she could handle, "7 children!" and she did... so....

Honestly, it can come across arrogant to claim to be a Godly woman. It almost seems even more arrogant to write about it. But lo, here I am sitting in my living room writing about my journey to not simply knowing I am a Godly woman, but believing in my core that that is who I am.

I think if most of us are being honest with ourselves, we feel that we aren't godly but maybe we are godly, but we don't really act godly, and so on and so forth. It's a weird back and forth of "I am, but I'm not..." 
 

But if we are starting at the beginning, then there is really only one good place to start, and that is with the Gospel. I'm a firm believer that if you start with the Gospel, continue with the Gospel and end with the Gospel then you can't go wrong. And honestly, when trying to determine who you are, starting with the Gospel genuinely IS the only place to begin. 

At my core, I am messed up, selfish and desire control over my life and destiny. If I am in control then God is clearly not. But Jesus came and allowed me, in my inability to make myself perfect, to be made perfect in God's eyes. Jesus took my ungodliness and gave me His godliness. He took my nastiness and made me lovely. Because of Jesus, when God looks at me, He sees the righteousness of God. Because of Jesus, I am made Godly. 

"He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." 2 Corinthians 5:21

When I say I am a Godly woman, I am literally claiming the Gospel. Without the Gospel, I am nothing but separated from God, living in vanity with the end goal being my glory. As Oswald Chambers says, "sin is a fundamental relationship- it is not wrong doing, but wrong being." 

Before we can even get to discussing womanhood and identity as a woman, you have to start with the foundation of identity, who you are in relation to God. If He is the Creator, if He is in control, then who I am in light of who He is, is of utmost importance. Because of Jesus, the basic, most foundational piece of who I am, is that I am redeemed. He has made me Godly, and thus that affects everything else about me. 

The rest of my posts will come from that perspective, as a woman who has been redeemed, bought, made right. "For as through the one man's [Adam] disobedience the many were made sinners, even so through the obedience of One [Jesus] the many will be made righteous." Romans 8:19

Defining "Godly Woman" is a two-part deal. First, we had to define "Godly", next up defining "woman"... let's just say that's not one post.