Womanhood: Defining "Godly Woman" Part 2

What does it mean to be a "woman" and how do you begin to identify with what a "woman" is? These are the questions I am beginning this post with, and the questions that I began asking years ago with little to no answer. 

Wherever you are in this journey, realize that we all come from different places. Every female in this world has had significant influencers on how she defines womanhood, whether these are conscious or not. For me, a huge part of this journey has been identifying those and making a choice to allow those definitions to remain or be refined. 

I am merely telling my story, and I don't expect your's to be the same. Nor do I expect you to have the same conclusions as me. 

First of all, can I just state for the record that calling myself a "woman" still has this weird connotation to it? There is something simple and easy about being a "girl" whereas calling myself a "woman" makes me think I should be wearing shoulder pads and driving an SUV with children's things all over the place. 

So what did I believe about being a woman besides wearing shoulder pads? 

Lies I believed: 

• to be a woman, I have to be married (but I'm single)
• to be a woman, I have to be literally quiet and not opinionated
• to be a woman, I need to bear children (but I'm single)
• to be a woman, I have to lay all my desires down for my husband, aka lose all sense of freedom and self (but I'm single)
• to be a woman, I need to be pursued by men
• to be a woman, I have to go to women's conferences with bad jokes and matching tshirts
• to be a woman, I have to scrapbook and bake and disciple my chidren, be fit and do it all at once
• to be a woman, I have to lay aside outdoor activities and athletics for indoor activities like bridge or bunko
• to be a woman, I must enjoy shopping. period. 
• and who wants to be a woman? Some old, weird, quiet, cat woman? (well actually Cat Woman would be cool, but a cat lady/woman with too many felines is not ideal)

So besides the obvious reason that I am single, I didn't fit the definition of woman, because I was/am:

• Single. 
• Not quiet and most definitely opinionated. 
• Single. 
• Single. and I really like my freedom. 
• Not really pursued by men. See point number two. 
• I really don't like women's conferences and don't do matching tshirts, especially purple ones with white butterflies (literally saw 20 women wearing these yesterday)
• I can scrapbook. Bake decently. I'm passionate about discipleship. I like to work out. Not much of a multi-tasker. 
• I love the outdoors. I won't ever give that up. 
• Not much of a shopper. 
• I'd be Cat Woman, but that's just because Batman is the bomb. 

Why did I have such a hard time identifying with being a woman? Because my definition was completely wrong. As I've begun to work through many of these lies I've realized something else, that it seems most of the women influencing our generation's definition of a "Godly woman" fit the aforementioned stereotype. I've asked lots of questions to women I trust literally since probably 2002 (opinionated, Godly women). I've read and reread books and passages of Scripture, and still have questions. I've been in Bible studies and pushed people to not give me the "easy outs" of "it's just about being submissive and having a gentle and quiet spirit." I've been to counseling and worked through the depths of many of the lies I believe. And I'm still in the process... 

But now, I feel like I'm in a place of understanding who I am before God as a woman. My definition has completely changed.

My challenge for anyone who reads this, male or female, would be to ask youself how do you define or think of womanhood (or manhood)? God clearly made man and He made woman, with specific distinctions for a reason. Choosing to understand and live these out in our culture, is honestly one of the greatest choices of being Light in a dark place that we can and will be for the Kingdom's sake.