I know you've all been losing sleep over my lack of blogging, but just in case you're ever-so-eager to read this, you're about to get a glimpse into my world, the world of my mind. So strap in...
As I sat here about to blog about urban ministry, discipleship in Austin, community, honesty, making life decisions, etc. I instead went down this path of self defeat.
I know we all do it, have high hopes of doing this or that and then fail at it one day and just grow weary of even attempting a second go around. Personally, I've been through this overly ambitious/pitiful self-loathing process what seems like a thousand times. For me, this process is highly rampant in regards to blogging (obviously), health (primarily what I put in my body), choosing how to effectively use my time, etc.
It's such a process. If there were really a devil figure that stood on one shoulder and a white angel on the other, they'd be uber busy simply when it comes to living in guilt vs. freedom in regards to so much of life.
I'm the person who if you do something near me out of guilt, I will call you out on it and not allow you to do whatever it is that the "guilt monster" is holding over you. Freedom vs. guilt. This is such a huge topic really...
Why do we do things out of guilt? Is that a healthy motivator? What kinds of things do you beat yourself up over?
This is something I wrestle with. This is the kind of mess that my mind churns over and over and over again until I get too tired, I just don't blog. But then I feel guilty. What a sick cycle, huh!? This is something I will choose to revisit another evening this week. I'll pick this up next time.... (and not in 3 months)....
1 comment:
I'm ready to read more now! I'm coming back next week so you're being held accountable. :) that's what Mom's are for, just trying to help you from feeling guilty.
Post a Comment