If you've ever sat at our kitchen table with us, then you know one simple fact about me, I love to tell stories. My most recent blog post on Embracing Singleness was read more than I'd expected. I assumed people would like to read about singleness, but I didn't really have any idea that people would be so interested. So now that you know how I feel about it in general, I'm going to invite you over to our "kitchen table" to enjoy a few stories if you will. Stories on being THAT girl. You know, THAT single girl.
Wedding Pains:
As any good single woman can attest to, I've been making my way slowly but surely to the "27 dresses" category of being a bridesmaid in my fair share of weddings. At receptions, there is this wonderful thing called the "head table", potentially the worst invention by whoever invents wedding traditions. You know, the table that sometimes is the literally up front for everyone to look at, and sometimes even on a platform or stage to be more in the spotlight.
A few weddings ago, I'm oddly positioned between married couples at this raised wedding party table because I didn't take a date. The entire wedding party has there food and we are eating and chatting and having a grand ole time at our long prominent table. Then it becomes time for dancing, and all I know is for some reason all the couples are called to the dance floor. That's not me so I just stay put and keep eating and check my phone because that's what we do these days. I then look up and realize I'm the only person left at the table in the front of the room. Everyone else is actually behind me on the dance floor. So I had to either remain with my back to the room or turn and watch. Being the sweet person I am, I turned around to watch.
As I'm on the stage and couples are dancing by me, they start to feel for me sitting alone up there (which is seriously the worst to try to comfort other people about your situation). In an effort to compensate and try to appease my apparently distressed look for being alone, these couples start trying to make conversations with me as they dance by. The wife and I would make eye contact and then you'd see it in her face, "poor girl sitting alone up there." So she'd get her husband to dance over and maybe do a few weird circles in front of me before moving on.
Then I started to dart my eyes around the room, only to realize that lots of other people are making weird eye contact with me. So we'd lock eyes, and I'd do that weird head nod which says, "hello, yes, hi, nice to see you too" without actually saying anything. It's then that you think, goodness gracious I am seriously THAT girl. I'm THAT single girl, on a stage, in front of everyone, at a wedding, watching all the couples dance, alone. It's weddings like that where catching the bouquet gives comfort to all those women who felt for you in your aloneness because they somehow feel buy in to the fact that you WILL be the next one to get married (though again, we single women all know that 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 bouquet catches don't really ensure a soon bouquet toss of your own).
General Life Mishap:
I'm not good at dating. I'm really not. In fact, my bad dating stories outweigh my good ones lots:very few. But they're funny. At our house, different roommates have different favorites, so welcome to the kitchen table. And again, go read my last post if you're feeling sorry for me. I tend to live in my strengths, so I feel like most of the things I spend my time doing are things I have some handle on in my life and feel fairly confident doing. Dating is not one of them. I have this thing with being standoffish with guys I like because I don't know how to maneuver such treacherous waters. So as I've sought to work through my shyness and quiet demeanor around guys I like, I've overcompensated a few times. Just a little bit.
There was this wedding where one of the groomsman's parents used to be family friends with my family. This groomsman (let's call him Jeff) and I were introduced and started talking. He was a cool guy and I enjoyed talking to him. Another one of the bridesmaids started trying to play matchmaker and told me I needed to ask him to hang out with our friend group after the reception. So I went over to him as the reception was shutting down and started talking, trying to find a way to invite him to hang out with us. One of Jeff's friends then walks up and I try to bring this friend up to speed on the situation. So I casually explain how our families knew each other a long time ago and this friend says, "well aren't y'all meant to be together!" Both myself and Jeff are taken a back and somewhat flustered, so we change the topic. He doesn't end up coming to hang out but life goes on.
So it's the following day and I'm thinking, why don't I just message him on Facebook!? Duh. Of course, I'm going back and forth in my head about what to do or what not to do and I couldn't decide if I should or shouldn't message him. As if this is some life or death situation. And I think, you know what, I've got to get over my shyness and just do it. What's it going to hurt!? So I start to write a message and I'm thinking what are some funny things or inside-ish jokes we made? Then I remember his friend's comment and think, brilliant! So I write my message and I decide to start it with, "so since we're meant to be together…"
I don't think he got the joke.
Lesson learned: some things you just need to run by a friend before you butcher it going rogue. Yeesh. THAT girl. For sure.
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