Singleness can be a lot like Marriage

We are moving. It is true. The Sweetwater House era is coming to a close. I'll save that for another post. Tears will be shed. 

Learning to live alongside roommates has been a long standing lesson in my life. From the lessons learned at 2am cleaning sessions in college, to the roommate who we confronted about stealing our Skinny Cows, to being told I could do nothing to care for myself in order to learn how to rely on others. All of these, plus some, have continued to train me and force me to get outside of myself and my selfish thinking to work alongside others. 

As we plan to move, we have decided to work together to decorate. I've lived in seven locations over the last 9 years. In every single place, I've been a primary contributor to decorations and furniture. It's been in a way, "my thing." I'm also a tad bit opinionated so that has also been a major factor to how my place of residence has looked and felt over the last 9 years. This move is literally the first time that we are talking through and sorting through all of the items in our home to make decisions together. I am quickly learning how to show preferential treatment to my roommates. We created a pinterest board called "Collaborative Decorating". The four of us have different styles, and yet we are trying to work together to decorate our home. That's four people. Marriage is two. 

So why am I telling you all this?

We deeply desire to use our time as singles for God's glory. You've heard about that already. But this is honestly one of the most tangible ways we are doing this. We make life decisions together. We conflict. We communicate. We cook for each other every week. We (are learning to) share. We bring attention to things in our lives that are not ok to remain. We are not content with just living in the same place with people. From what I've been told, marriage is very similar to this. But we are single women, seeking to know one another and be known. 

We are four very different women. 

• PaToya is sassy. I mean, she'll tell you what's up real quick. And it's good. She's also ridiculous, and really specific in what she likes and doesn't like. PaToya sings too much. 
• Amanda is honest, funny and dry. She is opinionated in a good way, and those opinions tend to be different than mine, primarily about my wardrobe which she cleaned out for me three weeks ago. We share a room which provides for some lively and stimulating conversation. She also spells very well. Manders can sing. 
• Smash (Ashley) is the kindest of the bunch. She is also the most fiery. She is fierce, but in a tree hugger kind of way. Smash plays instruments. That's cool. 
• Me. Well I'm Kimbo. If you've met me or read any blog, you have a decent idea about me. But for the sake of descriptions, I'm intense and hard core about life, but also funny. Duh. I like music. 

All of us have strong opinions, especially as we know and continue to be more honest with one another. That means we can tend to conflict, especially as we share in life together and seek to put the needs of each other before our own. "Collaborative Decorating" is a board on pinterest, but it's also tangible evidence that life can be shared. Our chore wheel is the same way. Or our shared calendar. Or our meal planning for the week. We aren't content to simply live and coexist. We want to share and care for each other and be active parts of each other's lives. 

Marriage is about vulnerability and being loved despite your failings. I can honestly say that these three other women know my failings all too well. And they love me anyway. They know my quirks and stubbornness and choose to remain. They also don't allow me to remain as I am. They call me to a higher standard, but love me when I don't quite get there. Marriage is a gift, but so is singleness. If you are single and you feel as if you're missing out on something marriage could offer, then I daresay you are not embracing singleness for what it is. There is much to be learned in community with others.