Singleness: Thriving in a Male World

I've been thinking through numerous posts on singleness for a long while now. I don't recall ever putting them into writing, so here is a fun beginning to what could be a long list of posts. You see as life has progressed recently, there have been many lessons that I've been learning that come from learning how to do things that have typically been "male" tasks in my world. Now when there isn't a male around for the little things, and sometimes the big things, you learn. And sometimes those lessons come through humiliation. Other times, it's a hilarious learning curve.

The main lessons from the past week:

 

1. Don't be ashamed to ask for help.

Last fall when I moved into a house, I quickly realized I needed an edger. Something about clean lines and coming from a family that spends most Saturday's doing yard work... So going into Sears and buying an edger was a solid win for me last September. Granted, I did have to talk to the salesperson then walk a few aisles away and get some advice from my Dad before purchasing, but hey, I bought an edger!

So this past week, I was edging with vigor and the line finished and flew out. That meant, I had to replace the line in order to edge. Some people are thinking, is she seriously not sure how to do that? Others are thinking, what is the "line" she is talking about?

On Friday, I put my edger in my trunk and walked that baby straight into Sears and asked for help. The people all around, almost all of them being males, look at you like you're that little girl who is incompetent. It's in that moment where you stand your ground and you look that Sears man in the eye, and say, "I need you to teach me how to replace the line in my edger." So Sears man went to grab more and I trot behind him asking a thousand questions about all these random numbers they put on those packages. Learning the whole time, so that next time I'm able to just walk into Sears and get more line and change it out all by myself. Look Ma! I can change the line in my edger! Wahoo.

 

2. When you feel like an idiot, embrace it. You're learning.

Did you know I worked at Home Depot? Yeah, well it didn't help too much. You see, I've been the girl who since sophomore year of college has had her own power drill. Pretty hard core, huh? Well, it's because I like to decorate and everyone knows you need a drill to hang curtain rods! Now before you go thinking that I know what I'm doing, let me share a moment of solid ignorance on my part. Senior year of college I couldn't seem to get a curtain rod hung at my house. I called my Dad to ask him why. He asked me what drill bit I was using to make the starter hole, and I seriously had no idea what he was talking about. Turns out for a year I was just straight up drilling all screws into the wall with no starter holes, no drill bits, nada... just brute strength. That's right, hard core.

This past week I was trying to hang some bike racks in our garage and could not seem to get the right combo of drill bit and screw (something I still wish I had a better handle on). So I embraced ignorance again and walked straight into Home Depot's tools section and explained the situation.

When in Home Depot talking about tools and stuff I feel like a 3rd grader asking a calculus teacher, so wait, "3x3= 9 or 6?" When I leave with the answer to my question, I'm typically relieved but more than that, I'm just glad to be out of there. Learning to keep moving through feeling like an idiot in the "Male World" is more frequent than I'd have ever guessed, but I'm learning, slowly but surely.

3. Get awesome roommates who are fit.

Living with 3 other women is hilarious and crazy. Figuring out how to make a path in our backyard, like this one I made this week, is a total landscaping win. Now it's been a long process landscaping, but I try to remember that it takes everyone a long time. And some people never even try, so I'm gonna be excited about even trying.

Another thing is that if you've ever lived with me, or just been in my house, you know it doesn't take much for me to completely rearrange rooms. A few weeks ago, my roommate and I decided (well I decided and then recruited her) to move a couch from the upstairs to downstairs. And you know what, we did it! Again, hard core!

Being single and living with single women, it helps if you work out, not just for your health but more importantly for redecorating! You just never know when you're going to need to move couches up and down the stairs in your house. So keep those arms strong for your next project.

 

4. More than anything, embrace where you're at.

I think in the midst of all these "Male World" lessons, I'm learning how grateful I am to learn how to do these things. Fixing toilets, hanging blinds, landscaping, gaining a tool collection, etc. Growing and learning is never easy, why would it be? There are hard moments where you just want to throw in the towel and wish a guy would walk up in Home Depot and say, "I'd love to come to your house and fix everything and make it all perfect for you," but then I'd have to respond with, "I'm sorry creepy man, but I refuse to tell you where I live." So here is to learning to thrive in the circumstances you're in!

Mission: Possible! Austin

Recently I realized I had not taken the time to write about my job and what has been going on there. As I got the flu this past week, I've been processing my time at MP. It's been a little over a year now since I've been working there. That means, that last weekend's Spring Retreat, was the first thing I've done a second time around. Last year, Spring Retreat was the first thing I was put in charge of, and now I've done it twice. Crazy how time flies.


So a lot has happened at MP in the last year. More staff have changed. Our programs have grown and changed. New kids are consistent in our programs, and new volunteers are coming to develop relationships. It's been a crazy year of watching God show Himself faithful.

For me personally, God continues to open doors and show me more about Himself and who I am through my time at MP. I've spent the last few months in conversations about what my best fit is and so we are trying me out in a new role. Basically, within our very small staff, we've been realizing that my gifts in communication and organization are needed within the entire organization and not just within the programs I was overseeing. So as my role is changing, we are looking to fill the Child & Community Outreach Coordinator role. I am moving into a position titled, Communication and Development Manager. Basically, I oversee all of our communication with the public and within the organization as well as developing our relationships with churches and volunteers. Please pray for our staff as we continue to search for this person to fill the role and also for smooth transitions.


I've been learning a lot about following Jesus each and every day. So often the things that we are faced with at MP are overwhelming to me. But I have to realize, they are not overwhelming to God. He knows every hair on my head, and thus knows exactly how He wants to use me on this earth for His glory. He also knows that same thing about every person we interact with.

I look at these pictures of children and volunteers and choose to trust God that He has a plan and is working it out for His glory for each individual we come in contact with. The Gospel is being spoken, relationships are being formed, and we are continuing to press hard into the lives of those we know at MP. Sin's bondage is so strong, and yet the power of God is much stronger. That is a truth I continue to hold on to and trust in when things get overwhelming. I am just so grateful that our God is so personal and so cares for each of us. I love that about Him. I hope that you are experiencing His love today.

apple tv

For Christmas I was given this nifty little thing called an apple tv. It has revolutionized our living room and our evenings and lazy weekends.

What is an apple tv? Well in my own words, awesome. But more specifically, an apple tv connects to your tv and streams things from the Internet (over wifi), or from other apple devices. So, I can play music from my computer upstairs on my tv downstairs. I am able to sit on my couch and put photos from my phone onto the tv screen with one touch on my phone. Pretty cool. I can video things on my ipad and then play them on the tv, again with one touch. It's fun to find new things I can do with it. Come over, I'll show you!

By far, the best part of the Apple TV is having Netflix. You see, I haven't had tv at my home since who knows when. We pay for Internet at our house but don't have cable. And I haven't had cable. With Netflix, we pay less than $10/month and can watch tons of tv and movies.

I LOVE my apple tv. My roommates and friends LOVE my apple tv. Is it for everyone? Probably not. But we don't watch tv daily or need to see shows as they are on the television. We watch a lot of movies and like a random assortment of movies. If you watch sports or shows like "The Voice" where you need to see it as it comes on, the apple tv wouldn't do you much good. It could be a great addition to your cable plan! If someone was interested in getting an apple tv, I'd ask a few questions to help make the decision:

• What kind of tv to do you watch?
  
• Do you have cable?
  
• What is the primary reason you'd buy the apple tv?

I love to talk about it so let me know if you're interested or want more input.

I found this photo while looking for the photo of the apple tv and thought it was precious. So I put it up. :) I mean, I have the coolest niece ever, and soon will have a second!

Thanks Papaw and Vicki for the apple tv! My friends, roommates and myself are very appreciative!

Freedom vs. Guilt: Part III

The Freedom Motivator:

So if the ability to achieve cannot be met because let's be honest, none of us can achieve perfection, which for me is so often the standard, then there has to be a better way.

What if you did something, not because of the result it gave you but because you simply wanted to?

Let's take the "good Christian" category. What if you didn't read your Bible, go to church or memorize scripture because you were told to, but because you actually desired to? What if you loved God so much you read to know Him deeper and you went to church to be with the people who love God too?

What if you didn't work out and eat healthy out of fear of failure or a need to achieve a standard of beauty, but instead did those things out of an understanding of who you already are? What if withholding sugar or bread wasn't to make you feel better about yourself but to make a choice out of a desire to honor who God has made you.

I'll be honest, when I set out to write this series of posts, I didn't know where I was going with it. I was just putting my thoughts into words as I went, and of course the ending of this path is back to the Gospel. You see, I used to think true life started at the Gospel and then moved from there. But in all actuality, it all starts, goes through and ends at the Gospel.

There is much I could say about this topic: freedom vs. guilt, but at this point I am focusing simply on the fact that I've been freed from having to achieve and feeling guilt when I don't. I've been freed from a standard of perfection that I can't meet, but that has been met in Jesus Christ.

I choose to live in freedom and not in guilt. I don't have to prove myself or achieve. Thank you Jesus.

Freedom vs. Guilt : Part II

The Guilt Motivator:

The first question I have to ask to ask myself, is "am I doing this because I will feel guilty if I don't?" ... If the answer is yes, "what is this guilt stemming from?"

Often time the reason I feel guilty for something is because I feel the need to achieve. I don't know if this is the case for others but let me try to walk you through this in my mind. What happens for me is that I feel a need to achieve some standard for myself. When I am not achieving this, then I feel guilty.

Such as feeling the need to be a "good Christian" so that requires me to do certain things. When I don't do those things, such as reading my Bible or knowing certain Scripture, then I feel guilty because I'm not achieving the status of "good Christian" that I want to be.

Another example would be wanting to achieve the status of beauty that the world says. So when you aren't eating the perfect way or working out the right amount, you feel guilty that you aren't achieving this perfect standard. So you beat yourself up for not doing this, or not doing that, and you begin to feel extremely defeated.

The result of allowing guilt to be a primary motivator for me is constant failure, resulting from a belief that I need to be achieving certain standards. The reality is, my expectations of myself or unattainable, pretty much ALL the time.

So if the guilt motivator is defeating, then why do I allow myself to live under it? For me, it is because I like to believe that I can achieve perfection (even though I fall so very short).

Next blog... the freedom motivator...