Womanhood: Defining "Godly Woman" Part 2

What does it mean to be a "woman" and how do you begin to identify with what a "woman" is? These are the questions I am beginning this post with, and the questions that I began asking years ago with little to no answer. 

Wherever you are in this journey, realize that we all come from different places. Every female in this world has had significant influencers on how she defines womanhood, whether these are conscious or not. For me, a huge part of this journey has been identifying those and making a choice to allow those definitions to remain or be refined. 

I am merely telling my story, and I don't expect your's to be the same. Nor do I expect you to have the same conclusions as me. 

First of all, can I just state for the record that calling myself a "woman" still has this weird connotation to it? There is something simple and easy about being a "girl" whereas calling myself a "woman" makes me think I should be wearing shoulder pads and driving an SUV with children's things all over the place. 

So what did I believe about being a woman besides wearing shoulder pads? 

Lies I believed: 

• to be a woman, I have to be married (but I'm single)
• to be a woman, I have to be literally quiet and not opinionated
• to be a woman, I need to bear children (but I'm single)
• to be a woman, I have to lay all my desires down for my husband, aka lose all sense of freedom and self (but I'm single)
• to be a woman, I need to be pursued by men
• to be a woman, I have to go to women's conferences with bad jokes and matching tshirts
• to be a woman, I have to scrapbook and bake and disciple my chidren, be fit and do it all at once
• to be a woman, I have to lay aside outdoor activities and athletics for indoor activities like bridge or bunko
• to be a woman, I must enjoy shopping. period. 
• and who wants to be a woman? Some old, weird, quiet, cat woman? (well actually Cat Woman would be cool, but a cat lady/woman with too many felines is not ideal)

So besides the obvious reason that I am single, I didn't fit the definition of woman, because I was/am:

• Single. 
• Not quiet and most definitely opinionated. 
• Single. 
• Single. and I really like my freedom. 
• Not really pursued by men. See point number two. 
• I really don't like women's conferences and don't do matching tshirts, especially purple ones with white butterflies (literally saw 20 women wearing these yesterday)
• I can scrapbook. Bake decently. I'm passionate about discipleship. I like to work out. Not much of a multi-tasker. 
• I love the outdoors. I won't ever give that up. 
• Not much of a shopper. 
• I'd be Cat Woman, but that's just because Batman is the bomb. 

Why did I have such a hard time identifying with being a woman? Because my definition was completely wrong. As I've begun to work through many of these lies I've realized something else, that it seems most of the women influencing our generation's definition of a "Godly woman" fit the aforementioned stereotype. I've asked lots of questions to women I trust literally since probably 2002 (opinionated, Godly women). I've read and reread books and passages of Scripture, and still have questions. I've been in Bible studies and pushed people to not give me the "easy outs" of "it's just about being submissive and having a gentle and quiet spirit." I've been to counseling and worked through the depths of many of the lies I believe. And I'm still in the process... 

But now, I feel like I'm in a place of understanding who I am before God as a woman. My definition has completely changed.

My challenge for anyone who reads this, male or female, would be to ask youself how do you define or think of womanhood (or manhood)? God clearly made man and He made woman, with specific distinctions for a reason. Choosing to understand and live these out in our culture, is honestly one of the greatest choices of being Light in a dark place that we can and will be for the Kingdom's sake.  

Womanhood: Defining "Godly Woman"

Defining "Godly woman" is daunting to write about, to say the least. So let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start... 

"Are you a Godly woman?", my future boss asked me in an interview. I swallowed and coached myself into answering what I knew to be true, "yes I am a Godly woman." 

That is not the question you expect to be asked in most interview type situations. But in this one, it was honestly the only question applicable. I was about to be asked to disciple 12 women with the sole purpose being, that they would learn to live and believe that they are Godly women. In light of these posts, this almost seems crazy that I was asked to do such a thing. And maybe they were crazy to ask me to serve in such a capacity, but they asked me and I did it. And Fraulein Maria didn't believe she could handle, "7 children!" and she did... so....

Honestly, it can come across arrogant to claim to be a Godly woman. It almost seems even more arrogant to write about it. But lo, here I am sitting in my living room writing about my journey to not simply knowing I am a Godly woman, but believing in my core that that is who I am.

I think if most of us are being honest with ourselves, we feel that we aren't godly but maybe we are godly, but we don't really act godly, and so on and so forth. It's a weird back and forth of "I am, but I'm not..." 
 

But if we are starting at the beginning, then there is really only one good place to start, and that is with the Gospel. I'm a firm believer that if you start with the Gospel, continue with the Gospel and end with the Gospel then you can't go wrong. And honestly, when trying to determine who you are, starting with the Gospel genuinely IS the only place to begin. 

At my core, I am messed up, selfish and desire control over my life and destiny. If I am in control then God is clearly not. But Jesus came and allowed me, in my inability to make myself perfect, to be made perfect in God's eyes. Jesus took my ungodliness and gave me His godliness. He took my nastiness and made me lovely. Because of Jesus, when God looks at me, He sees the righteousness of God. Because of Jesus, I am made Godly. 

"He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." 2 Corinthians 5:21

When I say I am a Godly woman, I am literally claiming the Gospel. Without the Gospel, I am nothing but separated from God, living in vanity with the end goal being my glory. As Oswald Chambers says, "sin is a fundamental relationship- it is not wrong doing, but wrong being." 

Before we can even get to discussing womanhood and identity as a woman, you have to start with the foundation of identity, who you are in relation to God. If He is the Creator, if He is in control, then who I am in light of who He is, is of utmost importance. Because of Jesus, the basic, most foundational piece of who I am, is that I am redeemed. He has made me Godly, and thus that affects everything else about me. 

The rest of my posts will come from that perspective, as a woman who has been redeemed, bought, made right. "For as through the one man's [Adam] disobedience the many were made sinners, even so through the obedience of One [Jesus] the many will be made righteous." Romans 8:19

Defining "Godly Woman" is a two-part deal. First, we had to define "Godly", next up defining "woman"... let's just say that's not one post. 

The Journey of Womanhood

I want to preface a new season of posts with this one. You see, many years ago I began a journey that I'm still on today, and will always be on. That journey has been learning what it means to be a woman. And not just a woman, but a woman deeply and radically in love with the God of the universe. Am I a woman? Am I a Godly woman? If so, how? And what does that actually mean practically for me, day in and day out?

This journey began many years ago, but I purposely began walking through things in regards to womanhood about three years ago. If you knew me in college, I believed myself to be a strong, independent, sometimes brash, but really just passionate girl. I claimed I wanted to be single for my life and wrote off dating and an interest in guys for a few reasons, primarily a need for control. I didn't like being girly really, and at times had difficulty accepting others who were like that because of multiple reasons. 

I tended to think most women (including myself) lived on a sliding scale with one extreme being uber girly sorority girl like and the other end being extremely masculine or just everything the other end is not. I will talk more on this at some point... 

But three years ago, a lot changed for me. I was in the Forge, an 8-month discipleship program at Pine Cove. It was a long process and at times painfully difficult, but very revealing. One of the biggest lessons I've carried with me came from a dear Forge brother of mine. You see, he lovingly told me that I wear a "not interested" or "keep away" sign on my forehead for guys to read. He told me that guys don't even approach me as someone they could date because of the way I carry myself. He gave me many more details in a analogy he created, but to sum it up, what he and a few dear guy friends told me later began a long journey of seeking to understand myself and the way I relate to God and then in turn, the way I relate to men and other women. 

So you may be asking yourself, "is this a series of posts covering all the junk she's uncovered in her life?" Well no. But it is an account of many of the lessons I've learned and conversations I've had along the way. I've already come up with 20+ posts which is basically just an indication of how much I've needed to learn.

The more that my life unfolds, the more I believe in the truth of scripture found in 2 Corinthians 1: 4, "blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ... who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any afflication." I've seen this played out so many times in my life, where just the right person has gone before me in an area and is able to encourage me as I follow them down certain paths. For me, I have had the privilege of sharing with different young women things I have learned in this area of life, and my blog is honestly the easiest place to share. 

I don't claim to have answers. I don't claim to have authority to speak on this. Goodness, I can give you the email of so many women I trust and have learned from in this process. I just want to share because God has taught me a lot and I feel the need to openly and transparently allow others the chance to be open and transparent about these things as well. I also have a lot of funny stories, and need a place to share. :) 

My name is Kimberly and I am a Godly woman. This is my story...

Why Tri??

Triathlons... slowly becoming a long-term friend. There are few reasons for this, but the main one is, we just get along. You know those friends that sometimes you just really don't like them, but it's just a temporary thing? You always get over it because the relationship is worth it. That's how I feel about triathlons. So here is a glimpse into my journal where I write letters to inanimate objects...


Dearest Triathlons,

It's seriously been so fun getting to know you! Who knew we would get along like we do? I can see how we are going to be long term friends. You really have a way with balancing fun and holding people to a standard. I like that about you. You never cease to amaze me with who all you know and how much people just plain like you! But you're hard on people. You push people and you don't let them stay mediocre; you force people to go to the next level. You're kind of intense like that.

We've spent some time together at this point. Remember our first encounter? I do... I was 24 and so naive. I had no idea we were just beginning our relationship. I thought it was going to be one of those seasonal things that comes and goes (like how I felt about Kristen sophomore year of college), but lo and behold you're still around (and thank goodness, so is she...)!

just a little shout out to Kristen

We are now at that place where we are comfortable with each other. I know how to act when I'm around you, and feel content in our relationship. But you've been telling me we need to go deeper, so here we go. October 7th we are taking our relationship to the next level, and I'm nervous. You've been kind to me thus far, but who's to say you're always that way!? I've heard stories about you pushing people to do crazy things, and maybe I'm one of them... but only time will tell.

As a mentor once told me, "time is your friend." So I'm taking it one step at a time and I'll do the same on October 7th. I have nothing to be afraid of, so let's do this thing! So here's to our friendship Triathlons... I hope it's a long one!

Yours truly,
Kimbo

Vacationing Ginnings Style

Gotta love vacation right?! I was able to go to New Mexico two weeks ago with my parents and have such a great time. You know those families that go to the beach and I guess lay on the beach all week? Yeah, that's not my family... I actually don't think I've ever been to the beach with my family. We are mountain people, kinda like this guy right here... 

marmot = mountain beaver

We rest but we also play, and play hard. 

Day 1: We went jeeping up a crazy path to an awesome lake in the middle of the mountains.

Day 2: Ziplining across mountain tops. Pretty legit. The zips were forever long it seemed. It was awesome and now I've been ziplining twice with my parents. 

Day 3: Hiked up New Mexico's highest mountain with my dad, Wheeler Peak. Then we all met up and had an incredible dinner. Lambert's in Taos, NM. Do it... it'll make your top 5 meals ever. And if it doesn't I'll let you take me back with you and I'll convince you of it. You can foot the bill. You're welcome. 

before summiting Wheeler Peak

a friend I made on the hike

outside Lambert's in Taos

on the summit

Day 4: Rest. And by rest I mean we built (mainly my dad) a walking trail around my grandparent's property. It'll be great for snowshoeing and for mountain biking. We also finished the Bourne trilogy that we watched all of on the trip. 

walking the trail at my grandparents

Day 5: Dad and I rented mountain bikes and rode those things down the ski mountain. Sound intense? It was. There was one point where I flew over my handle bars. I just got over the bruises from that fall... but it was TOTALLY worth it.

after coming down the mountain

Then to top it all off, I got to go to Arkansas that weekend for a Forge brother's wedding. Such an awesome wedding. You know it's gonna be a party when glow sticks are thrown onto the dance floor. 

It was an awesome week. Full of fun things and really fun people. It's always good to be back in Austin though and doing life here. More to come soon friends...