When Dating Blogs Change to Engagement Blogs… Change to Marriage Blogs...

If you read this blog, you're probably aware I am now ENGAGED (and have been for two months…)! That's right, I wrote that last blog about a week before I got engaged. Pretty wild, huh!? And here I am just now writing about engagement. I'd apologize but I think I've worn out my apologies on belated blog posts. 

For the engagement story people: G proposed to me under a beautifully lit Christmas tree in my hometown after a carriage ride with my family looking at Christmas lights. We were then able to celebrate with so many of my extended family at my parent's home, followed by a series of wonderful congratulatory videos from dear friends! It was wonderful and one of those moments you step back and realize how loved and cared for you are!

If you're unaware of Garrett and I's dating story, you can check the last post. It's been a whirlwind to say the very least! To go back and read my posts from even the last 12 months, I am amazed/humbled/in shock and sometimes even a little befuddled. How did I even get to a place where I'm working through guest lists for wedding showers and gazing at a diamond ring on my left ring finger? My answer? Literally, by the grace of God! I'm amazed at God's work in my life, and even more amazed that any man, much less Garrett, is by choice eagerly pursuing me for marriage. 

This whole process of dating, even prior to G, was an act of faith. It took some major courage for me to walk the path of dating I did the last three or so years. It took some major self-reflection and prayer. God has taught me more about myself through dating and singleness that I wanted to know, all for His purposes of working His glory through my life. And now God is choosing to use Garrett and I's relationship, our engagement and soon-to-be marriage to bring Him glory. So thus, this season, this gift of marriage is not for me to hold close to my chest selfishly, but it's a gift to be looked at as an opportunity for God to be glorified! 

It is really eye-opening to know and experience the level of commitment we are walking in. It requires a whole lot of me laying down some expectations I wasn't aware I had. It has required me to apologize way more than I ever knew I would need to. And I can tell you this without a doubt, I have barely scratched the surface of being made aware of my faults and Garrett's. That whole, "less of me and more of Jesus" concept is a pretty good idea, except for the fact that I don't do that very naturally. 

If I could pick something I have learned from Garrett through this season, it's how to be quick to listen while remaining teachable. He has shown more patience and eagerness to understand me than I could have ever asked for. And I'll say this, engagement makes people crazy. I am probably one of the most level-headed, rational-minded people and on my good days I like to say I'm a "hot mess." 

There are a lot of changes coming in my life. Many that I would love to write about, and really hope to make time to express and share with whoever it is that reads this blog. Life is quite the adventure! And my most faithful, constant companion through all the adventures I've had thus far, is the One who leads me today. Adventuring with Garrett is a joy and a delight to my life. But adventuring with Jesus in this life, seeing His Kingdom made reality on this planet, now THAT is an adventure that I've been on and never found wanting. 

Valentine's Day was a few days ago… and you see I've never had a "valentine" per say. I remember in high school when I realized the beautiful reality of Jesus being the only One who could fill that deep longing in my soul. That ache that you feel when you feel so alone, and like no one cares for you. It is right there... in that deep void... that Jesus meets you. Every year since that realization, on Valentine's Day, I've pondered that. Always still hoping and praying for my future husband, but acknowledging that my needs are ultimately met in Jesus. 

So this year, on Valentine's Day, I had a "valentine". A real, in-the-flesh man who loves me. And not by any choice of his, but rather due to ways of the Army, Garrett wasn't able to be here with me. I was given the gift of talking with him for 20 minutes on the phone on Friday afternoon, but then his phone went off for a two-week period. So my Valentine's evening was spent with my mom, watching the olympics. And although I was sad, I was reminded once again of the year's of preparation God has given me. Even engaged, Jesus is the only One who can meet my needs. He is the only One who can fill that deep longing in my soul. He is the most faithful of companions. I look forward to this adventure of life that Garrett and I are embarking on, but am even more excited that it is Jesus who has and will continue to lead the way. So my friends, as I share this journey, be reminded that the greatest adventure worth taking is the One with Christ. May He lead you today!

Soli deo gloria. 

When Singleness Blogs Change to Dating Blogs...

First, I apologize. No blog in three months?! I'll make up for it! Promise. :) As I wrote the blogs about singleness that I did over the last few months, I thought it a privilege to be able to talk about what God was teaching me and had taught me through such a wonderful season of life. Such as how to change my expectations, how to use my time wisely and intentionally, and how to really embrace whatever circumstances the Lord gives. 

When it came to singleness, I'd processed through it enough to actually feel like I had some idea what was going on. This enabled me to be able to share more freely because I thought I had a decent handle on what to share. But then, I started dating. And dating, turned into a relationship, and that relationship has progressed seamlessly into a serious relationship. I haven't known how to talk about dating because if I'm honest with you, I don't know very much about dating when it becomes a relationship. My insight at the beginning was basically, "what is Jesus telling me?" and "do I enjoy him?" Those questions then turned in to, "what is Jesus telling me?" and "do I respect and admire this man?" So basically outside of that I haven't known how to or what to write… 

But more than anything I'd like to introduce you all to Garrett, who I'll fondly refer to as "G". 

G and I met in June through match.com. My friend Lyndsey (who I'm forever grateful for) had talked me into signing up for match.com in late spring with her, and I was hesitant but willing. At dinner that night we made my profile, which is the same profile that caught G's eye. So come June, G messaged me with real questions that made him stand out amongst guys that send silly messages with little substance. Between the questions, his very diverse profile, and his military photos, I was intrigued. Thus began our correspondence. After a series of emails and texts we met up for our first date in Belton at Schoepf's Barbecue on June 30, 2013. We sat and talked for a few hours, and shut the place down. It was enjoyable, and included a very memorable moment of me trying to justify and explain my deep love for Star Wars by showing off my multiple Yoda keychains. "One is even a flashlight!" I tried to explan. Uber nerd alert. 

But G liked it! So we went out again about two weeks later, due to a long holiday weekend between our dates. He picked me up at my house in Austin, we drove around and I showed him a bit of the city, and we grabbed dinner from Whole Foods. You'd think that'd be a win except that it was about 5pm in early July on the roof of a building in Texas. I don't know why I suggested we eat on the roof, but no one else was up there, and for good reason. G sweated it out and stuck with it. We also talked about European politics over that dinner… I don't quite know what kept him coming back for more, the Yoda comment or the sweaty Euro convo? 

That night we went and saw Pacific Rim (that's right, an alien-sci-fi-world-domination movie) at the Alamo Drafthouse (one of my personal favorites in Austin). At the end of the night, he dropped me off with a hug and a "I would love to do this again soon." I wanted to too.  

So we went on dates through July, and as they grew in length, taking up full Saturdays, and thus my enjoyment of him grew. We would hike, cook, adventure together, and really just talk. And talk. And then talk some more. It was August when our relationship became solidified and then we started to share our worlds even more with each other. Me sharing my friends, and triathlons, and my family in Wichita Falls. G sharing his life in Killeen, and the Army world, and his deep passion for flying. 

So a few facts about G: 

• G is in the Army. He flys blackhawk helicopters (the picture above is definitely not a blackhawk). He is a career man, meaning he plans on being in for a LONG time. 
• G grew up in Alabama, an Army kid, and then went to college outside Nashville, pursuing music. 
• He loves music and plays multiple instruments, though I chose to not believe that for a long time because he hadn't shown me. 
• G is one of the most hard-working but laid-back people I know. 
• I love processing things with him because he has insight like no one else I know. 

When you ask me, "why haven't you blogged in three months?" it's because I've been distracted. :) In a good way. And when you look at my old blogs like this one, you can know that God really was teaching me things that have brought me to the place I am today.

 

Seasons Changing

It has been almost a month since my last post. A lot has happened. We packed. We reflected. We moved. I sit in a new house, in a new part of town, with a new season ahead. 

Being the reflector that I am, we took some time last week as roommates to think through our time in Sweetwater and to talk through what we'd like this new season of life to be like. To be honest, we weren't fully "in the mood" to remember. But we tried. Moving is exhausting. Trying to engage emotionally in the midst of all of that has been even more difficult. And then there are relationships and work and life that keep happening in the midst of it all. 

But, I know one thing. We are blessed, blessed, blessed women. We had multiple friends and family at the Sweetwater house on Friday loading a truck. Saturday at 6am we had friends and family at our new house, ready to clean (and I mean CLEAN). Some of them stayed until 11:00 pm. People came in, scrubbing floors for hours (mom), scrubbing walls and floor boards, and getting roach poop out of drawers (Lara). As PaToya and I ran to Salvation Army at one point Saturday we talked through how certain details had been taken care of throughout the day and we were in shock.

God has blessed us with dear friends and family who love and serve people so well. And as this season changes, and the Sweetwater era comes to a close, I'm reminded of one thing in particular, that God is abundant in His care. I've been amazed in the last few months at God's provision through the most unexpected of circumstances. I have tried for much of life to plan, to follow my plans, and to fight for regularity and consistency. And yet, Jesus seems to be a little more unpredictable than my plans. So instead of making rigid plans, I am choosing to follow Him into this next season of life and say that I trust Him. I trust His goodness (because by golly He gives His kids good gifts!), His provision (most recently through community and sweet relationships), and His timing (we live in a new place, who knew!?). 

And we invite you all in dear friends. Come over. Enjoy tea, or coffee, or a good paleo treat (from this gluten-free, dairy free household). We'd love to share a good conversation with you about God's goodness, His provision for us and for how He leads us into new seasons. Oh the joy of following our Savior through the seasons of life! 

Moving. Transitions. Reflecting.

If you read my last blog, then you were made aware that I am moving. I am not moving alone, absolutely not. As roommates we began discussing our current stage of life, proximity to work and social things, and made a decision as a group early in the summer to be open to moving from northwest Austin. We haven't had the capacity to go out searching for a place to live more central, but a place came to us. Basically, it's an opportunity to live across the street from some friends of ours in Tarrytown, at a bargain of a price. We are taking this opportunity to move and enjoy Austin from a different perspective. 

The facts: 

We move September 15th. The Sweetwater house is up for sale. We are moving as roommates, and made that decision together. We have loved our home. We are excited about the newness and a new season of life. 

Life lately has been extremely full for me. I've felt unable to do things I regularly do in order to make time for some of life's newest transitions. Moving is definitely one of those. Last week my mom came in town and began the process of packing and staging the home for being on the market. I haven't honestly had time to process this change, and the many other changes happening around me. I'm a processor. If you've spent my birthday or someone else's birthday with me in recent years, you know that. If you are close to me, you probably know that to a fault or have been effected by my need to process. 

For the sake of sharing, these are some of the things I like to process at transition points in life, and will be doing soon enough with the transition from the Sweetwater house. Perhaps they will stir within you a deeper desire to reflect, in order that you might remember the Lord's faithfulness throughout different seasons of your life. 

What was missing from this season as you look back?

What did you most enjoy about this season?

What did you accomplish that you are the most proud of?

What were the two or three major themes that kept recurring?

How would you describe how the Lord dealt with you through this season?

What were the major lessons you learned?

Who or what most encouraged you?

How did I steward what was given to me?

Who did I influence? Who influenced me?

Who did God put in my path that challenged me or grew me in a way I didn't expect?

Singleness can be a lot like Marriage

We are moving. It is true. The Sweetwater House era is coming to a close. I'll save that for another post. Tears will be shed. 

Learning to live alongside roommates has been a long standing lesson in my life. From the lessons learned at 2am cleaning sessions in college, to the roommate who we confronted about stealing our Skinny Cows, to being told I could do nothing to care for myself in order to learn how to rely on others. All of these, plus some, have continued to train me and force me to get outside of myself and my selfish thinking to work alongside others. 

As we plan to move, we have decided to work together to decorate. I've lived in seven locations over the last 9 years. In every single place, I've been a primary contributor to decorations and furniture. It's been in a way, "my thing." I'm also a tad bit opinionated so that has also been a major factor to how my place of residence has looked and felt over the last 9 years. This move is literally the first time that we are talking through and sorting through all of the items in our home to make decisions together. I am quickly learning how to show preferential treatment to my roommates. We created a pinterest board called "Collaborative Decorating". The four of us have different styles, and yet we are trying to work together to decorate our home. That's four people. Marriage is two. 

So why am I telling you all this?

We deeply desire to use our time as singles for God's glory. You've heard about that already. But this is honestly one of the most tangible ways we are doing this. We make life decisions together. We conflict. We communicate. We cook for each other every week. We (are learning to) share. We bring attention to things in our lives that are not ok to remain. We are not content with just living in the same place with people. From what I've been told, marriage is very similar to this. But we are single women, seeking to know one another and be known. 

We are four very different women. 

• PaToya is sassy. I mean, she'll tell you what's up real quick. And it's good. She's also ridiculous, and really specific in what she likes and doesn't like. PaToya sings too much. 
• Amanda is honest, funny and dry. She is opinionated in a good way, and those opinions tend to be different than mine, primarily about my wardrobe which she cleaned out for me three weeks ago. We share a room which provides for some lively and stimulating conversation. She also spells very well. Manders can sing. 
• Smash (Ashley) is the kindest of the bunch. She is also the most fiery. She is fierce, but in a tree hugger kind of way. Smash plays instruments. That's cool. 
• Me. Well I'm Kimbo. If you've met me or read any blog, you have a decent idea about me. But for the sake of descriptions, I'm intense and hard core about life, but also funny. Duh. I like music. 

All of us have strong opinions, especially as we know and continue to be more honest with one another. That means we can tend to conflict, especially as we share in life together and seek to put the needs of each other before our own. "Collaborative Decorating" is a board on pinterest, but it's also tangible evidence that life can be shared. Our chore wheel is the same way. Or our shared calendar. Or our meal planning for the week. We aren't content to simply live and coexist. We want to share and care for each other and be active parts of each other's lives. 

Marriage is about vulnerability and being loved despite your failings. I can honestly say that these three other women know my failings all too well. And they love me anyway. They know my quirks and stubbornness and choose to remain. They also don't allow me to remain as I am. They call me to a higher standard, but love me when I don't quite get there. Marriage is a gift, but so is singleness. If you are single and you feel as if you're missing out on something marriage could offer, then I daresay you are not embracing singleness for what it is. There is much to be learned in community with others.